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              Ship's log of the Rainbow
                     Captain Zippy


 12th April 1281

 After much planning, we finally set sail in quest of the lost
 treasure of Captain Skint, who is said to have converted the
 bulk of his great wealth into valuable goods which he buried in
 a secret place to avoid the tithes of the Church.

 28th April 1281

 Bungle fell overboard and had to be rescued.  He became
 waterlogged and it took many hours before he was dry enough
 to work.

 7th May 1281

 Our journey has been good until today.  From out of nowhere,
 violent storms assailed our ship.  Several men were lost at sea.

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 10th May 1281

 The dread storms have died down, but the irony is that we are
 now becalmed.  Just as we prayed before that the wind would
 die down, we are now praying for the wind to pick up so we
 can resume our voyage.

 14th May 1281

 At last the weather returns to normal!  Perhaps now our journey
 will prove uneventful.

 20th June 1281

 After more than a month of peaceful routine, our ship was
 suddenly attacked by pirates.
 In the battle, George consumed a large amount of fly agaric
 and slew many men, mostly our enemies.  With their crew routed,
 we took posession of the enemy ship.  It will fetch a good sum
 at the next port.

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 23rd June 1281

 We docked at <xxx> to take on provisions.
 The captured pirate ship we sold at excellent price and the
 surviving pirates were turned over to the port authorities.
 The booty was split amongst our crew.

 10th July 1281

 While taking stock of our provisions, Bungle discovered that
 half the boxes of provisions actually contain sand.  I asked 
 Jeffrey for his advice, and we decided to press on.  From
 now on, what remains of our supplies will have to be rationed
 carefully.  I have diverted some of the crew to fishing.

 20th July 1281

 Our provisions are running low, and the fish are not biting.
 The crew are becoming restless.

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 24th July 1281

 Rod, Jane and Freddy attempted mutiny, saying they could run
 the show better themselves.  Fortunately enough crew remained
 loyal to me that we were able to quell the revolt.
 Most of the mutineers are now clapped in irons, except for Rod,
 Jane and Freddy who I ordered hanged as an example.
 They'll not defy Captain Zippy again!

 25th July 1281

 We came across a small islet.  Marooned on it, we found the
 body of a man, clutching a half-eaten Twiggley bar!  This
 means we are close, and the men have perked up somewhat, but
 our fate is still grim.

 27th July 1281

 Lady luck smiles upon us at last; the fish are biting.  Fish
 such as I have never seen!  I have ordered the crew to catch
 as many of the fish as they can and have them salted.

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 28th July 12

 SOmEthINg vEry Od aBOUt THe fIShhiEsS
 aLL tHe creW aCCtinNg StrRaNGElY
 GEorRGeE LiKeS THEM ThouGH
 TeLL CrREEW StOp EatTinG FisHiES
 CaNnOt RiTE aNYMoR toDaY

 2q

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 (At this point the captain's writing becomes wholly unintelligible.
  The diagrams however express a keenly psychedelic charm.
)

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 30th July 1281

 My head is stiLL not completely free of the Fish.  With the
 entIre crew ravIng mAd it seems we we ran agrOund without even
 knowing.  AmaZingly we hav struck the very isLand we seek!

 But I have orDered the crEw to rest one more dAy so we can
 approAch the task at hand with clear headS.

 5th August 1281

 This will be the last entry in the Rainbow's log.
 On exploring the island, we found the ship of my arch-foe,
 Tinky Winky!  It was not long before we came across him and
 his vile henchmen La, Dipsy and Po in the flesh.

 We also discovered a strange old man, by name of Bent Gunn..
 one of Skint's original crew. It seems he missed the journey
 home.  Tinky Winky no doubt tried to get the secret of the
 Treasure from him, but he could not understand a word they said.

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 We have defeated the four fools in a grand victory, yet we can
 find no bodies, even after three days search.  Perhaps they
 escaped in some other vessel, but it matters not for the
 Treasure is ours!

 I have the crew loading up as much booty as will fit in
 Tinky Winky's longship.  Some unfortunately will have to stay
 behind.. the sum of the treasure is too great to take it all.

 When this is done, we set sail for home.  Gunn would come with
 us, but he must hurry for we are all eager to sail home.

 Victory is sweet.. the treasure sweeter still!

   Captain Zippy
   George
   Bungle
   First Mate Jeffrey

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The crew discover that Zippy's arch-nemesis Tinky Winky (backed up by La,
Dipsy and Po) has got there first but Gunn can't understand what they are 
saying so they can't ask him where the treasure is.

A grand battle takes place for the treasure.  The tellytubbies are
routed and escape by unknown means.  Zippy and co search for the treasure
but find more than they can handle.

Commandeering the tellytubbies' ship they take what they can and leave the rest.
This is the last entry in the Rainbow's log.

In the mean time Gunn has got wasted and misses the ride home *again*.









On this day, the 12th of April in the year of our Lord, 1281,
we set sail on a voyage to seek the lost treasure of Captain Skint.

The treasure, by all accounts some 9 million pounds worth, was
buried in haste by the Captain on a nameless isle, the location of
which was written on two maps.  The first map was held by the Captain
and had the location of the island itself.  The other map, kept by
the Bosun, held the location of the treasure on the island.

The Bosun, however was drowned and the map was lost, but our bold
Captain Zippy had a Dream that the treasure would be found, so we
have set forth to fulfil his prophecy.
